The Harry Potter Confessions
by Haunting Shinigami
Summary: What happens when the Harry Potter characters reveal there secrets to the father of a church?? Read and find out!! Beware of chocolate sauce and rabid hippogriffs...o.o


None of these characters are mine. Bla bla....What happens when I get bored.....  
  
~~~~~The confessional of Harry Potter~~~~~~  
  
------Hermione's Confession--------  
  
Hermione- Forgive father for I have sinned. Its been *looks at watch* 10 minutes since my last confession.  
  
Father- Yes?  
  
Hermione- I think I'm having impure thoughts for Professor Snape!!  
  
Father- ......next *meeps*  
  
---------Malfloy's Confession-------------  
  
Malfloy- Well, last night....me and Potter did something that involved my wand, chocolate sauce, and -  
  
Father- *coughs* Well how did you feel about it?  
  
Malfloy- To tell the truth, it was quite fun watching him tied to the bed.  
  
Father- O.O  
  
  
---------Dumbledors Confession------------  
  
Dumbledoor- Im just so stressed and and...I have a terrible secret.....  
  
Father- All is safe here.  
  
Dumbledoor- Ahh!! IM THE HEIR OF SLYTHERINE THERE I SAID IT ARE YOU HAPPY!!!???  
  
Father- Woah, thats some honking secret if I was you I would run out the door and jump out the church window.  
  
Dumbledoor- .........  
  
Father- Ekk!! Hypotheticly speaking of course!!  
  
Dubledoor- GOOD BYE CRUEL WORLD!!! *jumps out window*  
  
Father- *whistles and sweeps away broken glace* Next?  
  
  
-------------Hagrid's Confession---------------  
  
Hagrid- It was jus' a joke!! A lil' joke tats' all!!!  
  
Father- What did you do???  
  
Hagrid- When I was drunk last night I set some Hippogriffs lose in Hogwarts....rabid Hippogriffs.  
  
*blood curtailing screams come from castle*  
  
Father- Phyco....next!!  
  
  
----------Fred's Confession-----------  
  
Fred- Forgive father for I have sinned. Its been .....3 minutes since my last confession.  
  
Father- What now?  
  
Fred- Well you know how I'm not sappost to set cherry bombs on toilet seats anymore.  
  
*explosions herd in the bathroom*  
  
Random Voice- Its the end of the world as we know it....  
  
Father- I love my job.  
  
------------------Ron's Confession--------------------  
  
Ron- Forgive father for I have sinned...I ... I think I....  
  
Father- If your going to tell us that you have impure thoughts about Harry...we already know.  
  
Ron- Y...you do?  
  
Father- Oh yes.  
  
------------Snape's Conffesion----------------  
  
Snape- I enjoy dressing in cheerleading outfits and singing camp songs.   
  
Father- Again...I love my job.  
  
  
------------Nevele's Confession-------------  
  
Nevel- Im just sick of being ignored!! So I played a joke. And a good joke it was to!! Bwahahahaha!!  
  
Father- What did you do?  
  
Nevel- I put pink die in the Hogwarts water pipes.   
  
Father- I thought my glass of water looked odd.....  
  
  
-------------Crookshanks Confession----------------  
  
Crookshanks- Meow Meow Meow...Meow Meow Meow  
  
Father- Dear the burning sensation is completely normal, even if it towards an owl.  
  
Crookshanks- Meow Meow Meow!!!  
  
Father- O.O I question your owner.....  
  
Hermione- Crookshanks, what are you telling him????  
  
  
------------Crab's Confession-----------  
  
Crab- So then I say, give me your lunch money or else and-  
  
Father- Holy father help me  
  
  
-------------Fat Picture Lady--------------  
  
Fat Picture Lady- Forgive father for I have-  
  
Father- AHHH A TALKING PICTURE!!! *pulles out a 67 callibure* BACK FROM HELL FROM WITCH YOU CAME!!!  
  
*BANG*  
  
Father- *dusts off hands* Next!!  
  
  
-------------Harry's confession--------------  
  
Harry- Well what Malfloy did to me with his wand....I very much liked it. Especially the chocolate sauce it was yummy!!!  
  
Father- *grabs hat and walks out of the confessional towards the broken window* GOOD BYE CRUEL WORLD!!!  
  
*KERSPLAT*  
  
----------------The End-----------------  
  
How'd you like it??? R&R...no I am not on anything ...^^ 


End file.
